Party's Over. Please go home.

Back when I was in college (there was another guy named Bush in the White House, to clarify date and time), a combination of music, dubbed VHS movies and a large dorm suite in a renovated hotel made my room a popular place for nonacademic gatherings. As there was always booze flowing about the room, this was great fun until about 2 in the morning, when every host must confront one of the great truths of parties:

Some people just don't want to leave.

I had an import copy of ELTON JOHN'S GREATEST HITS that I kept handy for the stragglers. Track 1 was "Your Song," and the combination of gentle piano and Elton's cooing vocals induced enough drowsiness to send most of the night owls packing. None of the guests ever suspected it was deliberate, even those who spent several nights a week hanging around. My roommate was the only other person in on the scheme, and when he got tired, I'd get a request for Elton.

Let's face it, when you've got a room full of the inebriated to clear, choosing the right music is essential. This was reinforced for me last year, when Schadenfreudian Therapy posted the outstanding Turd in the Punchbowl mix, which takes a far more aggressive route in dispatching the stragglers. It's a must-download packed with some hilarious gems.

As the warmer weather tends to bring guests out of their IKEA-furnished winter hibernation to seek canapes and adult beverages at other people's homes, I thought I'd use this week's show to present two mixes suitable for emptying a room. From 7-8PM Eastern Daylight on Wednesday, it's "Have a Good Night," a collection of slumber-inducing songs that will deflate the wildest gathering.

Then, from 8-9PM, it's "Please Leave!" featuring songs ranging from the troubling to the screeching, including many tracks from the Hear It Wow archives.

Listen live on 91.5FM in the Boston area, or listen online for free in your choice of Windows Media or iTunes at wmfo.org.

If you're looking for some light supper music or want to hear how AC Rowe tried to compete with MUZAK, you'll enjoy this week's post of Customusic on WFMU's Beware of the Blog. More Customusic will be popping up on WFMU's site in the coming weeks.